Lorry driver John is the daddy of the house and he knows exactly what he likes

 

“I’ve got a really good burning passion for creams”

 

But wife Rachel is desperate for a chance to express herself

 

“I think a bit of colour would make our lives happier”

 

“We need someone to come in and help us because we can’t work it out between the two of us”

 

“I’m hoping my cream nightmare is going to be over”

 

“Rachel…you can’t feel like this is a lovely, romantic environment…surely”

 

“It sounds like you’re trying to get your own way”

 

“John, uh, like this…all the time over Rachel. I think it’s about time her voice was heard”

 

“I feel like I was born in a rainbow”

 

“You are so lucky”

 

“I tell you what it can’t be any worse”

 

“Don’t worry, you are in safe hands”

 

“But we don’t live in Italy, we live in Consett”

 

“It’s a bit of my life that I’m giving to you”

 

“Our life’s boring at the minute it needs livened up”

 

“And you will like it. You will”

 

It’s a design taste-off

 

“Wow, not like my place”

 

“It’s crying out for help”

 

“My god, it’s going to be amazing”

 

I’m worried

 

“She looks perfectly normal, but her tastes suggests that she’s come down from another planet”

 

“But that’s her ideas you see, John. Different people have different tastes in everything”

 

“She is different, that’s the thing, she’s different to everybody else”

 

“Oh…John”

 

“You’ve got to give the girl a chance”

 

At the house it appears John’s worst fears are coming true

 

“He hasn’t really got a lot of choice”

 

“Oh my god, that is very grey”

 

“I like the colour, I’m just not sure about the ceiling”

 

“To be honest with you I’m not actually looking forward to it at the moment”

 

“We’ve got about 22 seconds left”

 

“Stripping the walls to expose the brick”

 

“It’s very manly”

 

“Gosh… Ooh! That’s awful, what is that (laughs) god, it’s dreadful”

 

“I’m not saying I hate it though because I don’t”

 

“The only wow factor I would say in here is wow, isn’t it dark” (laughs)

 

“There’s going to be no cream, fingers crossed no cream”

 

“I’m just gonna see if I can watch TV… No. I’m alright here but I have got to sit like this… Fireplace is alright”

 

“How do you sleep in this chaos?”

 

“He’s going to hate it”

 

“Open your eyes”

 

“I don’t want to”

 

“Hey it’s totally different, and…this is, really really nice”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really nice”

 

“Yes I really do like it, it’s very nice”

 

“What do you think Rachel?”

 

“I really like it…I really do”

 

“It’s absolutely superb”

 

“I really like it”

 

“I wouldn’t have chosen this colour but it looks….looks really nice”

 

“What do you think Rachel?”

 

“Hmm yeh I do, I like the wardrobes and…”

 

“Nah it’s too much…I wouldn’t have done anything like it and I don’t like it”

 

“I think it looks horrendous…so, sorry it’s a big thumbs down from me”

 

“It’s hideous, I think it’s even too much for Rachel if she was to tell the truth”

 

“Is it Rachel?”

 

“I, I like, I do like the bed and the wardrobes and I like the theme of it”

 

“So overall you quite like it”

 

“Mm yeh”

 

“It’s rank”

 

“I like the lights”

 

“Don’t like it at all”

 

“I think Rachel likes it though, John. I know you’re telling her she doesn’t but…”

 

“No, no”

 

“She does”

 

“No I’ll leave it to her”

 

“But you’re answering for her”

 

“Yeh…”

 

“And I haven’t heard much from Rachel’s mouth actually, come on Rachel”

 

“I like the bed and the wardrobes”

 

“If Rachel likes it, yeh, so be it”

 

“And if Rachel likes it, can you keep it the same?”

 

“Not for long”

 

“So you were going to accept what Rachel wanted and you said if she’s happy that’s fine, so what you are actually saying now that it isn’t fine”

 

“It’s rank, horrible”

 

“I like it…”

 

“I think she’s got to be heard”

 

“Pfft nah, sorry”

 

“It could grow on you”

 

“Fungus grows”

 

“Did you think what you did was quite brave?”

 

“It was quite brave”

 

“Ok”

 

“John should be the one you’re worried about. So Rachel, she liked it”

 

“Right”

 

“John, I’m afraid. Hated it”

 

“Oh no”

 

(starts crying)

 

“Well you knew what you were doing when you stuck the bright colours up there”

 

“I, I knew what I was doing and I am sticking by it, I love it”

 

“It’s just that he hates it”

 

“Yeh”

 

(Cries)

 

For these two, compromise may not come easy

 

“We need to compromise on what we are going to use”

 

“But we need to share a vision, this is just reductive”

 

“No I’ve had enough of you, actually”

 

(Laughs)

 

“Alright, I’ve had absolutely enough of your sighing huffing and puffing, I’m doing this as well”

 

“Arrgghh”

 

“You are just a right control freak”

 

“I think she’s taking it a bit too personal if I’m honest”

 

Oh dear

 

“At the moment we’re not…had a bit of a blow out”

 

“I do want to work with you”

 

“Yeh and I want to work with you and I want us to make an amazing kitchen”

 

“Good”

 

“I am quite nervous to meet John”

 

At least someone has listened to me

 

John Geoghen is regretting ever getting on this makeover merry-go-round

 

“Come on, John. Cheer up son”

 

“No, the house is a mess”

 

“It’s an absolute mess, it’s disgusting”

 

“I hope I don’t meet the lady, because she’ll hate me if I do”

 

“Maybe the kitchen will be a bit better”

 

“It can’t be any worse”

 

“God help us. It’s a mess, and I wouldn’t recommend anybody do it. Big risk? Yeh, risk too far. I’m disgusted in it, and that’s the truth, absolutely disgusted”

 

“It’s gonna have to go…Nick, we’ve got to paint this, it’s gonna have to go over there, you’re gonna have to start listening and do as you’re told for a minute”

 

“Just stick it over there”

 

“Will you shut up?”

 

“No you shut up!”

 

“This is not for you to worry”

 

“Yes it is for me to worry”

 

“Don’t worry about it”

 

“Yes but you’re not doing anything”

 

“Don’t worry about it!”

 

“I’m just speechless, absolutely speechless”

 

“Don’t try and be difficult”

 

“Uh”

 

“Don’t be difficult”

 

Will the colour inflame John?

 

“I heard there was a little bit of tension between you both”

 

“Yes, there was quite a bit of tension”

 

“Yeh”

 

“Was it stressful?”

 

“Very”

 

“So, it’s crunch time”

 

And here comes the crunch

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

(Dramatic pause)

 

“A lot better now”

 

“Are you pleased?”

 

“Yes. Yes, very much so. Really, really like this room”

 

“Oh good”

 

“We were slightly worried John”

 

“I’m really, really at ease now because I was frightened”

 

“What do you think Rachel?”

 

“I really like it, I do”

 

“What do you think kids?”

 

“I like all of it and especially the wall paper and the chalk board”

 

“I am so relieved. I really didn’t expect that at all, especially with John”

 

“This is absolutely magnificent”

 

“I am very happy”

 

“Obviously you took a risk. You put Your Home In Their Hands”

 

“Thank you”

 

“Thank you”

 

“Much appreciated”

 

“Thank you so much”

 

“Thank you”

 

“Thanks a lot”